At this solitary stop for refreshments between Coalmont and Ramsdale (between innocent Dolly Schiller and jovial Uncle Ivor), I reviewed my case. With the utmost simplicity and clarity I now saw myself and my love. Previous attempts seemed out of focus in comparison. A couple of years before, under the guidance of an intelligent French-speaking confessor, to whom, in a moment of metaphysical curiosity, I had turned over a Protestant's drab atheism for an old-fashioned popish cure, I had hoped to deduce from my sense of sin the existence of a Supreme Being. On those frosty mornings in rime-laced Quebec, the good priest worked on me with the finest tenderness and understanding. I am infinitely obliged to him and the great Institution he represented. Alas, I was unable to transcend the simple human fact that whatever spiritual solace I might find, whatever lithophanic eternities might be provided for me, nothing could make my Lolita forget the foul lust I had inflicted upon her. Unless it can be proven to me -- to me as I am now, today, with my heart and my beard, and my putrefaction -- that in the infinite run it does not matter a jot that a North American girl-child named Dolores Haze had been deprived of her childhood by a maniac, unless this can be proven (and if it can, then life is a joke), I see nothing for the treatment of my misery but the melancholy and very local palliative of articulate art.
在科尔蒙待与拉姆期代尔之间(在纯洁的多丽。希勒和快活的艾弗叔叔之间)的路上,我在一个孤零零的小镇停下来休整片刻,又回顾了我的情形。现在,我那么透彻明晰地看清了我自己和我的爱情。以前的种种努力,比较起来看,都显得模糊不清。两年前,在一时形而上的好奇中,我曾经为求得一种古老、天主教式的治疗方法,把新教徒枯燥的无神沦理论教给了一位讲法语、勤勉的神父,我希望能认我的罪恶感中演绎出“超人”的客现存在。在严霜覆盖的魁北克,在那些凛冽的清晨,那善良的神父以最温柔、最解人意的态度给我治疗。我对他和他所代表的那个非凡的协会感激不尽。哎!我仍不能够超越简单的人性,无论我找到了豺么样的精神慰藉,无论给我一个什么样磐石般实在的来世,也不能使我的洛丽塔忘掉我强施于她的那罪恶的淫欲。除非向我征明——向现在的我,今天的我,征明,连同我的心,我的胡须,我整个腐败的肉体——一个名叫多洛雷斯。黑兹的北美小姑娘,被一个狂人夺去了童年,但这在无限的生命历程中,一点点也无关紫要,除非这一点能够得到证明(如若能够,那么生命也就成了一个玩笑),我找不到什么能医疗我的痛苦,我只有忧郁的心境和诡辩的言语所产生的局部缓解。
We have to pay on mortal sense of beauty.
我们必须内灵魂付出美感。
To quote an old poet:
一位诗人的话:
The moral sense in mortals is the duty
人性中道德感是义务,