For a moment, the cameras hold on Peeta's downcast eyes as what he says sinks in. Then I can see my face, mouth half open in a mix of surprise and protest, magnified on every screen as I realize, Me! He means me! I press my lips together and stare at the floor, hoping this will conceal the emotions starting to boil up inside of me.
皮塔说着,神情忧郁起来,有一会,镜头对准他低垂的眼皮。接着,镜头移向我。在屏幕上我看到自己半张着嘴、既想反抗又很吃惊的表情,在每个屏幕上都被放大了,这点我后来才意识到。我?他是说我?我紧闭双唇,盯着地板,极力掩饰内心翻卷的复杂感情。
"Oh, that is a piece of bad luck," says Caesar, and there's a real edge of pain in his voice. The crowd is murmuring in agreement, a few have even given agonized cries.
“噢,真是不走运。”凯撒说,他的声音透出一丝真挚的痛苦。观众也跟着喃喃低语,甚至有几个人在呜咽。
"It's not good," agrees Peeta.
“是不太好。”皮塔说。
Peeta shakes his head. "Not until now."
皮塔摇摇头。“我想她也刚刚才知道。
"Well, I don't think any of us can blame you. It'd be hard not to fall for that young lady," says Caesar. "She didn't know?"
“哎,我认为没人会怪你,这位年轻的女士楚楚动人,想不爱上她是很难的。她还不知道吗?
I allow my eyes to flicker up to the screen long enough to see that the blush on my cheeks is unmistakable.
我抬起头定定地看着屏幕,脸颊确已绯红,没错。
"Wouldn't you love to pull her back out here and get a response?" Caesar asks the audience. The crowd screams assent. "Sadly, rules are rules, and Katniss Everdeen's time has been spent. Well, best of luck to you, Peeta Mellark, and I think I speak for all of Panem when I say our hearts go with yours."
“你们难道不愿把她拉回到这,然后让她做出回答吗?”凯撒对观众说。观众尖叫着表示同意。“很可惜,规则就是规则,凯特尼斯伊夫迪恩的时段已经越用完了。好的,祝你好运,皮塔麦拉克。我谨代表全体帕纳姆国人说,我们的心和你在一起。
But I know better.
可我心里更清除这是怎么回事。
After the anthem, the tributes file back into the Training Center lobby and onto the elevators. I make sure to veer into a car that does not contain Peeta. The crowd slows our entourages of stylists and mentors and chaperones, so we have only each other for company. No one speaks. My elevator stops to deposit four tributes before I am alone and then find the doors opening on the twelfth floor. Peeta has only just stepped from his car when I slam my palms into his chest. He loses his balance and crashes into an ugly urn filled with fake flowers. The urn tips and shatters into hundreds of tiny pieces. Peeta lands in the shards, and blood immediately flows from his hands.
国歌完毕,“贡品”列队回到训练中心的住处,大家都集中到电梯旁。我小心的避开皮塔,人太多,设计师、指导老师和女伴都落在后面,选手面对面站着,没人开口说话。电梯中途停下,里面的四个选手下去后,就只剩下我自己,到了十二层,电梯门打开,这时皮塔也正好从另一部电梯里走出来。我上前一掌打在他胸口,他一个趔趄,摔倒在装着假花的丑陋花盆上,花盆应声而碎,皮塔倒在碎片上,手上立刻鲜血直流。
The roar of the crowd is deafening. Peeta has absolutely wiped the rest of us off the map with his declaration of love for me. When the audience finally settles down, he chokes out a quiet "Thank you" and returns to his seat. We stand for the anthem. I have to raise my head out of the required respect and cannot avoid seeing that every screen is now dominated by a shot of Peeta and me, separated by a few feet that in the viewers' heads can never be breached. Poor tragic us.
观众发出震耳欲聋的呼喊声。皮塔靠吐露爱的心声的方式,已经把其他所有人从他前进道路上清除。观众最后终于安静下来,他略带哽咽地轻轻说了声“谢谢”,然后回到座位。接着全体起立,奏国歌。我们都必须表示尊敬,高高地昂着头。这时我看到每个屏幕上都有我和皮塔的画面。我们相隔几英尺站立着,可这个距离在每个观众的眼里是永远无法逾越的距离。可怜的、悲情的我们啊!
Now the elevators open and the whole crew is there, Effie, Haymitch, Cinna, and Portia.
这时电梯到了,团队全体人员都已来到。艾菲、黑密斯、西纳和波西娅。
"You had no right! No right to go saying those things about me!" I shout at him.
“你没有权利这么做,你没权利那么说我。”我对他大喊。
"Yes, Haymitch is very helpful. To you!" I say.
“是的,黑密斯帮你运作。帮你。”我说。
"What's going on?" says Effie, a note of hysteria in her voice. "Did you fall?"
“怎么回事?”艾菲用尖利声音问,“你摔倒了?
"This was your idea, wasn't it? Turning me into some kind of fool in front of the entire country?" I answer.
“这是你的主意,是不是?让我在全国人面前变成傻瓜?”我回答他说。
"You are a fool," Haymitch says in disgust. "Do you think he hurt you? That boy just gave you something you could never achieve on your own."
“你确实是个傻瓜。”黑密斯厌恶地说。“你觉得他伤害了你?那孩子给你的是你靠自己永远不可能得到的东西。
"It was my idea," says Peeta, wincing as he pulls spikes of pottery from his palms. "Haymitch just helped me with it."
“这是我的主意,”皮塔说,把扎入手中的陶片拔出来。“黑密斯只是帮我运作一下。
"He made you look desirable! And let's face it, you can use all the help you can get in that department. You were about as romantic as dirt until he said he wanted you. Now they all do. You're all they're talking about. The star-crossed lovers from District Twelve!" says Haymitch.
“他让你很火爆。面对现实吧。你可以得到所有的帮助。在他说爱你之前,你像尘土一样,没有一丝的浪漫可言。现在大家都在议论你们,大家都在说你们是来自十二区的明星恋人。”黑密斯说。
"What was that for?" he says, aghast.
“你这是干什么?”他吃惊地问。
"He made me look weak!" I say.
“他让我显得很柔弱!”我说。
"After she shoved me," says Peeta as Effie and Cinna help him up.
“她推的。”皮塔说,艾菲和西纳把他扶起来。
Haymitch turns on me. "Shoved him?"
黑密斯转身对着我。“你推他?
"But we're not star-crossed lovers!" I say.
“可我们并不是什么十二区的明星恋人。
Haymitch grabs my shoulders and pins me against the wall. "Who cares? It's all a big show. It's all how you're perceived. The most I could say about you after your interview was that you were nice enough, although that in itself was a small miracle. Now I can say you're a heartbreaker. Oh, oh, oh, how the boys back home fall longingly at your feet. Which do you think will get you more sponsors?"
黑密斯捉住我的肩膀,把我摁在墙上。“谁会在乎?这是一场大型表演,你只是给人一种感觉。访谈结束了,我想说你很棒,这是个小小的奇迹。现在你简直可以说催人泪下。噢,噢,噢,家乡的男孩有多少会拜倒在你的脚下。你觉得什么事能让这么多人赞助你?
"No, your reaction was perfect. If you'd known, it wouldn't have read as real," says Portia.
“不,你做得非常好。如果提前知道了,就不那么真实了。”波西娅说。
The smell of wine on his breath makes me sick. I shove his hands off my shoulders and step away, trying to clear my head.
他嘴里喷出的阵阵酒气令我作呕。我推开他的手,坐到一旁,尽量想理清繁乱的头绪。
Cinna comes over and puts his arm around me. "He's right, Katniss."
西纳走过来,他楼着我的肩,说:“他说得对,凯特尼斯。
I don't know what to think. "I should have been told, so I didn't look so stupid."
我不知该怎么想。“他们应该告诉我,这样我看上去就不会那么傻了。”我说。
"She's just worried about her boyfriend," says Peeta gruffly, tossing away a bloody piece of the urn.
“她只是担心她的男朋友。”皮塔粗声粗气地说着,又把沾满血的陶片扔到一旁。
My cheeks burn again at the thought of Gale. "I don't have a boyfriend."
一想到盖尔我的脸刷地红了。“我没有男朋友。
"Whatever," says Peeta. "But I bet he's smart enough to know a bluff when he sees it. Besides you didn't say you loved me. So what does it matter?"
“不管怎么说,”皮塔说,“我想他足够聪明,应该知道这不过是做戏,再说了,你也没说你爱我啊。所以,那又有什么关系呢?
Suddenly I'm worried that I didn't react properly.
突然,我又觉得自己做得太过分了。
The words are sinking in. My anger fading. I'm torn now between thinking I've been used and thinking I've been given an edge. Haymitch is right. I survived my interview, but what was I really? A silly girl spinning in a sparkling dress. Giggling. The only moment of any substance I had was when I talked about Prim. Compare that with Thresh, his silent, deadly power, and I'm forgettable. Silly and sparkly and forgettable. No, not entirely forgettable, I have my eleven in training.
我慢慢体会到他话中意思。我的气也渐渐消了,我内心很矛盾,不知是被人利用了,还是争得了优势。黑密斯说的对。我顺利通过了电视访谈,可那是真正的我吗?穿着漂亮裙子打旋儿的愚蠢女孩?咯咯的笑声,只有谈起波丽姆的那一刻才是真正的我。和萨里什相比,他沉静、有力,而我的表现却乏善可陈,愚蠢、浅薄、平庸。不,并不完全平庸,我十一分的成绩不算在内。
The others chime in, agreeing.
其他人也随声附和。
But now Peeta has made me an object of love. Not just his. To hear him tell it I have many admirers. And if the audience really thinks we're in love… I remember how strongly they responded to his confession. Star-crossed lovers. Haymitch is right, they eat that stuff up in the Capitol.
可现在皮塔让我成了被人爱慕的对象,爱慕者不止是他。照他说的,我有很多爱慕者,如果观众真的认为我们是恋人…我记起来观众对他的话反应有多强烈。明星恋人。黑密斯是对的,在凯匹特这套很吃香。
"You're golden, sweetheart. You're going to have sponsors lined up around the block," says Haymitch.
“你现在是金子,亲爱的,赞助人会排成长队的”黑密斯说。
"After he said he loved me, did you think I could be in love with him, too?" I ask.
“在他说了他爱我之后,你觉得我真的会爱上他吗?”我问。
"I did," says Portia. "The way you avoided looking at the cameras, the blush."
“我认为会,”波西娅说,“你不敢看镜头,脸也红了。
"Doesn't matter," he shrugs. "Although it's technically illegal."
“没关系,”他耸耸肩,“尽管从技术角度讲这么做是违法的。
I'm embarrassed about my reaction. I force myself to acknowledge Peeta. "I'm sorry I shoved you."
我为自己的过激行为感到非常惭愧。我逼着自己给皮塔道歉:“对不起,我不该推你。
"Are your hands okay?" I ask.
“你的手还好吧?”我问。
"They'll be all right," he says.
“会没事的。”他说。
In the silence that follows, delicious smells of our dinner waft in from the dining room. "Come on, let's eat," says Haymitch. We all follow him to the table and take our places. But then Peeta is bleeding too heavily, and Portia leads him off for medical treatment. We start the cream and rose-petal soup without them. By the time we've finished, they're back. Peeta's hands are wrapped in bandages. I can't help feeling guilty. Tomorrow we will be in the arena. He has done me a favor and I have answered with an injury. Will I never stop owing him?
接下来大家都没说什么,这时一股香味从餐厅飘了出来。“走吧,咱们吃饭去吧,”黑密斯说。我们都紧随其后,来到桌旁坐下。可皮塔流血不止,波西娅带他去医务室包扎。我们先用餐,第一道奶油玫瑰花瓣汤。直到我们吃完以后,他们才回来。皮塔的手用绷带包扎着,我很愧疚。明天我们即将进入竞技场,他帮了我大忙,我却以怨报德。我难道不能不再欠他什么吗?
After dinner, we watch the replay in the sitting room. I seem frilly and shallow, twirling and giggling in my dress, although the others assure me I am charming. Peeta actually is charming and then utterly winning as the boy in love. And there I am, blushing and confused, made beautiful by Cinna's hands, desirable by Peeta's confession, tragic by circumstance, and by all accounts, unforgettable.
晚饭后,我们在客厅观看节目录像。大家都说电视上的我很迷人,但我觉得我身着裙装又转圈、又咯咯笑的形象既浮躁又浅薄。皮塔却表现得很有魅力,他对爱的表白彻底赢得了观众的心。最终展现在大家面前的我,羞赫而困惑,西纳的巧手使我美丽,皮塔的表白使我可爱,真爱无法实现的复杂情势使我悲情,一句话,我令人难忘。
When the anthem finishes and the screen goes dark, a hush falls on the room. Tomorrow at dawn, we will be roused and prepared for the arena. The actual Games don't start until ten because so many of the Capitol residents rise late. But Peeta and I must make an early start. There is no telling how far we will travel to the arena that has been prepared for this year's Games.
最后,演奏国歌,节目结束,客厅陷入一片寂静。明天黎明,我们就要为竞赛打起精神。凯匹特人起得晚,游戏到十点钟才会开始。可皮塔和我必须一大早就做好准备,举办今年比赛的竞技场已准备就绪,不知我们要深入到多远的距离。
Effie takes both of us by the hand and, with actual tears in her eyes, wishes us well. Thanks us for being the best tributes it has ever been her privilege to sponsor. And then, because it's Effie and she's apparently required by law to say something awful, she adds "I wouldn't be at all surprised if I finally get promoted to a decent district next year!"
艾菲拉着我们两个人的手,眼里含着泪花,祝我们一切顺利,她感谢我们,因为我们是她赞助过最好的选手。然后,艾菲就是艾菲,通常她总得说点糟糕的话。她说:“如果明年我得到升迁,被派到更体面的辖区,我一点都不会吃惊!
I know Haymitch and Effie will not be going with us. As soon as they leave here, they'll be at the Games Headquarters, hopefully madly signing up our sponsors, working out a strategy on how and when to deliver the gifts to us. Cinna and Portia will travel with us to the very spot from which we will be launched into the arena. Still final good-byes must be said here.
艾菲和黑密斯不会跟我们一起去。他们一离开这里,就会去大赛指挥部,疯狂地――-希望如此――-与我们的赞助商签约,对于何时、怎样把礼物送到我们手上做出规划。西纳和波西娅会和我们一起到达比赛地点,我们从那里进入竞技场,最终要在那里告别。
Then she kisses us each on the cheek and hurries out, overcome with either the emotional parting or the possible improvement of her fortunes.
然后她亲吻了我们的脸颊,就匆匆地出去了。既为离开我们而难过,也为自己未卜的前途而忧心忡忡。
Haymitch crosses his arms and looks us both over.
黑密斯伸出手臂,细细地打量着我们俩。
"When the gong sounds, get the hell out of there. You're neither of you up to the blood bath at the Cornucopia. Just clear out, put as much distance as you can between yourselves and the others, and find a source of water," he says. "Got it?"
“铜锣一响,你们就从这鬼地方冲出去,千万不要为宙斯整之角送命(宙斯之角,希腊神话中哺乳宙斯的羊角,羊角装满花果,象征丰饶。――译者注。)你们要分散开,离其他人也越远越好,然后想办法找到水源。明白了?”他说。
"Any final words of advice?" asks Peeta.
“还有最后的建议吗?”皮塔问。
"And after that?" I ask.
“然后呢?”我问。
When I head to my room, Peeta lingers to talk to Portia. I'm glad. Whatever strange words of parting we exchange can wait until tomorrow. My covers are drawn back, but there is no sign of the redheaded Avox girl. I wish I knew her name. I should have asked it. She could write it down maybe. Or act it out. But perhaps that would only result in punishment for her.
我回房间时,皮塔留在后面和波西娅说话,我很高兴。不管有什么奇怪的告别方式,我们都把它留到明天吧。我的被单已经被掀开了,可我却没看到红发艾瓦克斯。我真希望知道她的名字,我本该问问她的。也许她能写下来,或用动作表示,可也许这只能招致对她的惩罚。
"Stay alive," says Haymitch. It's the same advice he gave us on the train, but he's not drunk and laughing this time. And we only nod. What else is there to say?
“一定要活着。”黑密斯说,他在火车上也给我们提出了同样的建议,但这次他没有醉,也没有笑。我们只点点头。我们还能说什么呢?
It's no good. One hour, two, three pass, and my eyelids refuse to get heavy. I can't stop trying to imagine exactly what terrain I'll be thrown into. Desert? Swamp? A frigid wasteland? Above all I am hoping for trees, which may afford me some means of concealment and food and shelter. Often there are trees because barren landscapes are dull and the Games resolve too quickly without them. But what will the climate be like? What traps have the Gamemakers hidden to liven up the slower moments? And then there are my fellow tributes…
这可不妙,一小时,两小时,三小时过去了,我还睁着眼,胡思乱想,盘算着竞技场有什么样的地形。沙漠?沼泽?寒冷的荒野?我最希望的是有树木,这样我就能够藏身,找到食物和栖身之处。一般情况下都有树,因为光秃秃的地形很单调,游戏很快就会结束。可天气又会怎样?大赛组织者在里面设什么样的玄机,在游戏节奏缓慢时为其增添乐趣?还有其他“贡品”情况又怎样呢?…
I pull on a thick, fleecy nightgown and climb into bed. It takes me about five seconds to realize I'll never fall asleep. And I need sleep desperately because in the arena every moment I give in to fatigue will be an invitation to death.
我穿上厚厚的绒毛睡衣,爬上了床。五秒钟之后,我意识到我是不可能睡着的。但我确实需要睡眠,因为在竞技场,任何时候只要被疲惫击垮,死亡就会不邀而至。
I take a shower and scrub the gold paint, the makeup, the scent of beauty from my body. All that remains of the design-team's efforts are the flames on my nails. I decide to keep them as reminder of who I am to the audience. Katniss, the girl who was on fire. Perhaps it will give me something to hold on to in the days to come.
我冲了个澡,刷掉了身上的金粉和化妆品,也把美丽女人特有的香气从身上洗刷掉。所有的装饰就只剩下指甲上的火焰图案。我决定把它留下,好提醒自己在观众心目中的定位。凯特尼斯,燃烧的女孩。也许在未来的日子里,它能给予我坚持下去的力量。
The more anxious I am to find sleep, the more it eludes me. Finally, I am too restless to even stay in bed. I pace the floor, heart beating too fast, breathing too short. My room feels like a prison cell. If I don't get air soon, I'm going to start to throw things again. I run down the hall to the door to the roof. It's not only unlocked but ajar. Perhaps someone forgot to close it, but it doesn't matter. The energy field enclosing the roof prevents any desperate form of escape. And I'm not looking to escape, only to fill my lungs with air. I want to see the sky and the moon on the last night that no one will be hunting me.
我越想睡着,越是睡不着。最后,我心神不宁,已经没法待在床上。我在房间里走来走去,心突突跳着,呼吸急促。房间感觉就像监狱,如果呼吸不到新鲜空气,我就又要摔东西了。我沿着楼道跑向门口,想登上房顶。门微敞着,没上锁。也许有人忘了关门,不过也没关系,电场会阻止任何因绝望而企图逃跑的人。而我并不想逃跑,只想透透气,想最后看一眼天空和月亮,因为这是比赛之前最后一个无人追杀我的夜晚。
The roof is not lit at night, but as soon as my bare feet reach its tiled surface I see his silhouette, black against the lights that shine endlessly in the Capitol. There's quite a commotion going on down in the streets, music and singing and car horns, none of which I could hear through the thick glass window panels in my room. I could slip away now, without him noticing me; he wouldn't hear me over the din. But the night air's so sweet, I can't bear returning to that stuffy cage of a room. And what difference does it make? Whether we speak or not?
楼顶晚上没有点灯,我光着脚,刚踏上瓷砖地板,就看到他黑色的侧影,背后映衬着凯匹特灯火阑珊的夜空。大街喧闹异常,音乐声、歌声、汽车喇叭声,在我房间隔着厚厚的玻璃什么也听不到。我可以溜走,不让他看到,在嘈杂声中他也不会听到我的声音。可夜晚的空气如此清新,我不能忍受再次回到憋闷的房间。说到底,我们说话不说话,又有什么关系呢?
I come up beside him and lean over the edge of the rail. The wide streets are full of dancing people. I squint to make out their tiny figures in more detail. "Are they in costumes?"
我走到他身边,身体靠着栏杆。宽阔大街上的人们正在狂舞,我眯起眼仔细地看着他们。“他们穿着节日服装吗?
He starts but doesn't turn. I can see him give his head a slight shake. "I didn't want to miss the party. It's for us, after all."
他吃力一惊但却没有转过身来,我看到他轻轻摇了下头。“我不想错过这次盛会,不管怎么说,这是为我们准备的。
My feet move soundlessly across the tiles. I'm only a yard behind him when I say, "You should be getting some sleep."
我静悄悄地走过去,在他身后只有一码远的时候,说:“你应该睡一会。
"Thinking about your family?" he asks.
“想你家人吗?”他问。
"Couldn't turn my mind off," I say.
“总是想事。”我说。
In the light from below, I can see his face now, the awkward way he holds his bandaged hands. "I really am sorry about your hands."
此时,在楼下灯光的反射下,我可以看清他的脸,他笨拙地抬着打绷带的手。“弄伤了你的手,真太抱歉了。
"No," I admit a bit guiltily. "All I can do is wonder about tomorrow. Which is pointless, of course."
“不是,”我不无愧疚的承认,“我想的都和明天竞赛有关的事,当然,想这些也没用。
"That's no way to be thinking," I say.
“千万别这么想。”我说。
"Who could tell?" Peeta answers. "With all the crazy clothes they wear here. Couldn't sleep, either?"
“谁能说得好?他们这里的人穿着一向奇特。睡不着,是吗?”皮塔说。
"It doesn't matter, Katniss," he says. "I've never been a contender in these Games anyway."
“没关系,凯特尼斯,”他说,“反正比赛一开始,我也不是别人的对手。
"Why not? It's true. My best hope is to not disgrace myself and…" He hesitates.
“为什么不?这是事实,我最大的愿望是别给自己丢脸,也别…”他犹豫着。
"And what?" I say.
“什么?”我说。
"Do you mean you won't kill anyone?" I ask.
“你是说你不会杀人吗?”我问。
"I don't know how to say it exactly. Only… I want to die as myself. Does that make any sense?" he asks. I shake my head. How could he die as anyone but himself? "I don't want them to change me in there. Turn me into some kind of monster that I'm not."
“我不知该怎么说,反正…我要为一个真实的我而死,你明白吗?”他问。我摇摇头。除了自己,他还能为谁而死呢?“我不想让他们改变我,变成那种与原本的我完全不同的怪物。
"No, when the time comes, I'm sure I'll kill just like everybody else. I can't go down without a fight. Only I keep wishing I could think of a way to… to show the Capitol they don't own me. That I'm more than just a piece in their Games," says Peeta.
“不,到时候我会和其他人一样杀人,我不可能不战而退。只不过,我想找出办法,告诉凯匹特人他们并不能控制我,我也不是他们游戏中的一粒棋子。”皮塔说。
"A little. Only… no offense, but who cares, Peeta?" I say.
“一点点,可是…这也没什么大碍,皮塔,谁又会在乎呢?”我说。
"Okay, but within that framework, there's still you, there's still me," he insists. "Don't you see?"
“是的,可在这种规则中,仍然有你,也有我。你看不出来吗?”他坚持道。
I bite my lip, feeling inferior. While I've been ruminating on the availability of trees, Peeta has been struggling with how to maintain his identity. His purity of self.
我咬着嘴唇,自己太卑劣了,我一直想着竞技场是否有树,而皮塔想的却是如何保持自我,纯真的自我。
"I do. I mean, what else am I allowed to care about at this point?" he asks angrily. He's locked those blue eyes on mine now, demanding an answer.
“我在乎,我的意思是,目前除了这个,我还能在乎别的什么吗?”他气愤地问道,此时,用自己的蓝眼睛死死地盯着我,追寻着答案。
"But you're not," I say. "None of us are. That's how the Games work."
“可你本来就不是,我们都不是,这不过是游戏规则而已。
"Look, if you want to spend the last hours of your life planning some noble death in the arena, that's your choice. I want to spend mine in District Twelve."
“好啊,你要是想用这辈子最后几个小时策划竞技场中高贵的死亡,这是你的选择,不过我的余生却想在十二区渡过。”我说。
I spend the rest of the night slipping in and out of a doze, imagining the cutting remarks I will make to Peeta Mellark in the morning. Peeta Mellark. We will see how high and mighty he is when he's faced with life and death. He'll probably turn into one of those raging beast tributes, the kind who tries to eat someone's heart after they've killed them. There was a guy like that a few years ago from District 6 called Titus. He went completely savage and the Gamemakers had to have him stunned with electric guns to collect the bodies of the players he'd killed before he ate them. There are no rules in the arena, but cannibalism doesn't play well with the Capitol audience, so they tried to head it off. There was some speculation that the avalanche that finally took Titus out was specifically engineered to ensure the victor was not a lunatic.
整个夜晚我都在似睡非睡中渡过,设想明天如何和皮塔麦拉克最后道别。皮塔麦拉克,看看他面对生死抉择时,还会怎样地自诩高尚。他也许会变成最凶残的野兽。以前有个名叫蒂塔斯的来自六区的“贡品”杀人后吃掉了死者的心脏。他完全变成了野人,大赛组织者只好在他吃掉其他“贡品”的心脏前用电枪将他打晕,然后再把他杀死的“贡品”的尸首抬走。在竞技场没有规则可言,只不过食人的野人不为为凯匹特人接受,因而他们极力趋避。据传,最后使蒂塔斯致死的雪崩是特意针对他的,免得最后的胜利者是个疯子。
It's like a slap in the face. His use of Haymitch's patronizing endearment.
我好像被人扇了一耳光,他竟然用黑密斯那种倨傲的口吻跟我说话。
Peeta smiles at me, sad and mocking. "Okay. Thanks for the tip, sweetheart."
皮塔冲我笑笑,神情悲哀,一脸嘲讽。“好吧,谢谢你的提醒,亲爱的。
"Wouldn't surprise me if you do," says Peeta. "Give my mother my best when you make it back, will you?"
“你这么说我也毫不吃惊。”皮塔说,“你要是能活着回去,请向我妈妈问好,好吗?
I take a step back. "Care about what Haymitch said. About staying alive."
我不由地后退一步,“相信黑密斯的话,活着回来。
"Count on it," I say. Then I turn and leave the roof.
“一定。”我说,说完我转身离开了屋顶。
I don't see Peeta in the morning. Cinna comes to me before dawn, gives me a simple shift to wear, and guides me to the roof. My final dressing and preparations will be done in the catacombs under the arena itself. A hovercraft appears out of thin air, just like the one did in the woods the day I saw the redheaded Avox girl captured, and a ladder drops down. I place my hands and feet on the lower rungs and instantly it's as if I'm frozen. Some sort of current glues me to the ladder while I'm lifted safely inside.
早上,我没有见到皮塔。西纳黎明前就来找我,让我简单换了件衣服,然后把我带到屋顶。我最后的着装和准备工作将在竞技场的地下室进行。一架直升机悄然出现在我们的上方,和那天我在林子里看见红发艾瓦克丝时出现的飞机一模一样。直升机上放下一个梯子,我手脚刚搭上梯子,就觉得全身像凝住了一样动弹不得,一种电流把我粘在梯子上,之后梯子缓缓升起,把我送入飞机里。
I expect the ladder to release me then, but I'm still stuck when a woman in a white coat approaches me carrying a syringe. "This is just your tracker, Katniss. The stiller you are, the more efficiently I can place it," she says.
这时我以为梯子会把我松开,可我却仍然粘在上面。这时一个穿白衣的女人手拿注射器出现在我面前。“这是为了能找到你,凯特尼斯。你越安静,我安装的越快。”她说。
Still? I'm a statue. But that doesn't prevent me from feeling the sharp stab of pain as the needle inserts the metal tracking device deep under the skin on the inside of my forearm. Now the Gamemakers will always be able to trace my whereabouts in the arena. Wouldn't want to lose a tribute.
还要放这个?虽然我身体僵硬,可在她把追踪器植入我前臂皮下的时候,我仍感到一阵刺痛。现在无论我到哪,大赛组织者都能找到我的踪迹。他们可不想失去一个“贡品”。
As soon as the tracker's in place, the ladder releases me. The woman disappears and Cinna is retrieved from the roof. An Avox boy comes in and directs us to a room where breakfast has been laid out. Despite the tension in my stomach, I eat as much as I can, although none of the delectable food makes any impression on me. I'm so nervous, I could be eating coal dust. The one thing that distracts me at all is the view from the windows as we sail over the city and then to the wilderness beyond. This is what birds see. Only they're free and safe. The very opposite of me.
跟踪器一装好,梯子就把我释放了。白衣女人消失了,直升机接上楼顶的西纳。一个男艾瓦克丝进来,引领我们来到一个房间,在那已摆放好我们的早饭。尽管我的肚子仍觉得不舒服,我还是尽量多吃些,吃得什么也没太深刻的印象。此时我紧张极了,吃煤灰都没感觉。唯一能使我分神的是飞机穿越城市时窗外的景致,和在机上看到的荒野。这里是只有鸟才能看到的景象,只不过鸟是自由而安全的,我却正好相反。
The ride lasts about half an hour before the windows black out, suggesting that we're nearing the arena. The hovercraft lands and Cinna and I go back to the ladder, only this time it leads down into a tube underground, into the catacombs that lie beneath the arena. We follow instructions to my destination, a chamber for my preparation. In the Capitol, they call it the Launch Room. In the districts, it's referred to as the Stockyard. The place animals go before slaughter.
飞机飞行了约半个小时,之后窗户被遮挡起来。这意味着我们已经接近了竞技场。直升机着陆后,我和西纳再次来到梯子旁。这次不同的是梯子连接着一个地下管道,直通地下室。我们按指示来到最终的等候地点――一个用于准备的小屋。在凯匹特,人们叫它“出发室”。在我们区,人们叫它牲畜栏,也就是是牲畜待宰前所呆的地方。
I struggle to keep my breakfast down as I shower and clean my teeth. Cinna does my hair in my simple trademark braid down my back. Then the clothes arrive, the same for every tribute. Cinna has had no say in my outfit, does not even know what will be in the package, but he helps me dress in the undergarments, simple tawny pants, light green blouse, sturdy brown belt, and thin, hooded black jacket that falls to my thighs. "The material in the jacket's designed to reflect body heat. Expect some cool nights," he says.
我刷牙时,尽量不让满肚子的食物漾出来。西纳把我的头发梳成标志性的一根长辫,背在身后。接着有人送来了衣服,每个“贡品”的都一样。西纳对我的服装没有发言权,他甚至不知道袋子里装着什么。可他还是帮我穿好衣服:贴身内衣、朴素的茶色裤子、淡绿色上衣、结实的棕色皮带、垂到我大腿跟的黑色帽衫。“这种夹克的面料设计可以反射体温,也许晚上会很冷。”他说。
They say the food is excellent.
人们都说这里的食物很棒。
Everything is brand-new, I will be the first and only tribute to use this Launch Room. The arenas are historic sites, preserved after the Games. Popular destinations for Capitol residents to visit, to vacation. Go for a month, rewatch the Games, tour the catacombs, visit the sites where the deaths took place. You can even take part in reenactments.
所有的一切都是崭新的,我将是第一个也是唯一一个使用这间出发室的“贡品”。竞技场是每次比赛后保留下来的地方。这也是凯匹特人常常参观、度假的地方。他们常花一个月的时间,重新观看比赛,去地下室参观,甚至可以假扮“贡品”,重新演练当时的一幕。
The boots, worn over skintight socks, are better than I could have hoped for. Soft leather not unlike my ones at home. These have a narrow flexible rubber sole with treads, though. Good for running.
靴子套在紧身袜的外面,比我想象的要好得多,皮子很软,不像在家穿得那双。胶皮鞋底窄而柔软,带轮胎纹,很适合奔跑。
"It barely cleared the review board. Some thought the pin could be used as a weapon, giving you an unfair advantage. But eventually, they let it through," says Cinna. "They eliminated a ring from that District One girl, though. If you twisted the gemstone, a spike popped out. Poisoned one. She claimed she had no knowledge the ring transformed and there was no way to prove she did. But she lost her token. There, you're all set. Move around. Make sure everything feels comfortable."
“它差点没被审查委员会通过,有人觉得它可以被当作武器,使你处于优势,对他人不公。但最后,还是通过了。”西纳说,“一区女孩的一枚戒指没有通过。戒指扭曲之后,可以变成利刺。而且那枚戒指是有毒的。她声称她不知道戒指可以变形,对此也无法证明。可是她还是失去了象征物。好了,你已经准备好了,转下身,看看衣服和鞋穿着是否都很舒服。
"Where did you get that?" I ask.
“你从哪找到的?”我问。
I think I'm finished when Cinna pulls the gold mockingjay pin from his pocket. I had completely forgotten about it.
我以为已经结束了,这时西纳从兜里掏出金嘲笑鸟。我已完全把它给忘了。
"Off the green outfit you wore on the train," he says. I remember now taking it off my mother's dress, pinning it to the shirt. "It's your district token, right?"
“你在火车上穿的绿色外套上。”他说。这时我想起来曾把它从妈妈的衣服上摘下来,别在绿外套上。“这是你们区的象征,对吧?
"Then there's nothing to do but wait for the call," says Cinna. "Unless you think you could eat any more?"
“呐,现在也没什么事可做,就等出发的号令了,”西纳说,“除非你还能再吃下些东西?
I walk, run in a circle, swing my arms about. "Yes, it's fine. Fits perfectly."
我在屋里走了几圈,挥了挥胳膊。“是的,很好,正合适。
I nod and he fastens it on my shirt.
我点点头,然后把它别在衣服上。
"Do you want to talk, Katniss?" Cinna asks.
“你想说话吗,凯特尼斯?”西纳问。
"Remember what Haymitch said. Run, find water. The rest will follow," he says.
“记住黑密斯的话,快跑,找到水源,其他一切会自然而然地好起来了。”他说。
I turn down food but accept a glass of water that I take tiny sips of as we wait on a couch. I don't want to chew on my nails or lips, so I find myself gnawing on the inside of my cheek. It still hasn't fully healed from a few days ago. Soon the taste of blood fills my mouth.
我拒绝了食物,但拿了一杯水,慢慢喝着,边坐在长椅等候。我不想再磕指甲或咬嘴唇了,所以就在咬自己的腮帮子。几天前咬破的地方现在还没长好。不一会,我满嘴都是血腥味。
I shake my head but after a moment hold out my hand to him. Cinna encloses it in both of his. And this is how we sit until a pleasant female voice announces it's time to prepare for launch.
我摇摇头,可过了会儿,我把手伸向西纳,他用双手把我的手紧紧握住。我们就这样静静地坐着,直到传来一个女人轻快的声音,宣布出发的时间到了。
Nervousness seeps into terror as I anticipate what is to come. I could be dead, flat-out dead, in an hour. Not even. My fingers obsessively trace the hard little lump on my forearm where the woman injected the tracking device. I press on it, even though it hurts, I press on it so hard a small bruise begins to form.
我预想着可能发生的事,心情由紧张转而成为恐惧。我可能会死,直挺挺地死去,就在一小时之后,甚至到不了一小时。我的手指不由自主地一直抚摸着那个女人在前臂植入追踪器的鼓包。尽管很疼,我还是使劲摁它,不一会就起了一块淤青。
Still clenching one of Cinna's hands, I walk over and stand on the circular metal plate.
我仍然拉着西纳的一只手,走过去,站在一个圆形金属板上。
I nod.
我点点头。
"And remember this. I'm not allowed to bet, but if I could, my money would be on you."
“记住,我不允许赌博,可如果我能,我会把所有的钱都押在你身上。
And then a glass cylinder is lowering around me, breaking our handhold, cutting him off from me. He taps his fingers under his chin. Head high.
这时,一个圆桶形玻璃罩从我身旁落下,把我们紧拉的手分开,西纳被隔在外面。他用手指敲着下巴,意思是说:你要昂首挺胸啊!
I lift my chin and stand as straight as I can. The cylinder begins to rise. For maybe fifteen seconds, I'm in darkness and then I can feel the metal plate pushing me out of the cylinder, into the open air. For a moment, my eyes are dazzled by the bright sunlight and I'm conscious only of a strong wind with the hopeful smell of pine trees.
我抬起头,把胸膛挺的直直的。玻璃罩开始上升。大约过了十五秒,我完全陷入一片黑暗之中,我感到金属板推我出了玻璃罩,来到外面。外面强烈的阳光刺的我睁不开眼睛,我感到外面的风很大,隐隐飘来松树的香味。
"Truly?" I whisper.
“真的吗?”我轻声说。
"Truly," says Cinna. He leans down and kisses me on the forehead. "Good luck, girl on fire."
“真的,”西纳说,他俯身吻了下我的额头。“祝你好运,燃烧的女孩。
Then I hear the legendary announcer, Claudius Templesmith, as his voice booms all around me. "Ladies and gentlemen, let the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games begin!"
之后我听到播音员克劳狄斯坦普尔史密斯传奇般的声音:“女士们、先生们,七十四届猎杀游戏现在开始!