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饥饿游戏-第二章: 希望



There must have been some mistake. This can't be happening. Prim was one slip of paper in thousands! Her chances of being chosen so remote that I'd not even bothered to worry about her. Hadn't I done everything? Taken the tesserae, refused to let her do the same? One slip. One slip in thousands. The odds had been entirely in her favor. But it hadn't mattered.

一定是哪里弄错了,这不可能。波丽姆的名字可是夹在上千的纸条里啊!她被抽中的可能性那么小,我甚至不用去担心。我不是已为她做了一切?我领食品券,不愿让她遭遇同样的事?一张纸条,上千个纸条中的一张。她被抽中的几率很小啊。可这都没用。

That's how I feel now, trying to remember how to breathe, unable to speak, totally stunned as the name bounces around the inside of my skull. Someone is gripping my arm, a boy from the Seam, and I think maybe I started to fall and he caught me.

而此时,我的感觉正是如此,我试图回忆怎样呼吸,我说不出话来,这个名字在我的脑子里回荡着,我完全被震蒙了,身体瘫软,一阵晕眩,这时一个“夹缝地带”的男孩子赶紧扶住了我。

One time, when I was in a blind in a tree, waiting motionless for game to wander by, I dozed off and fell ten feet to the ground, landing on my back. It was as if the impact had knocked every wisp of air from my lungs, and I lay there struggling to inhale, to exhale, to do anything.

曾经有一次,我凝神屏气在树上等候猎物经过,可我却睡着了,背朝地从十英尺高的树上掉下来。那一摔,好像把我肺里的每一丝气体都从身体里挤压了出来,我拼命挣扎着,呼气,吸气,呼气,吸气…

Somewhere far away, I can hear the crowd murmuring unhappily as they always do when a twelve-year-old gets chosen because no one thinks this is fair. And then I see her, the blood drained from her face, hands clenched in fists at her sides, walking with stiff, small steps up toward the stage, passing me, and I see the back of her blouse has become untucked and hangs out over her skirt. It's this detail, the untucked blouse forming a ducktail, that brings me back to myself.

远处,人群中传来不满的低语,像以往一样大家认为一个十二岁的孩子被抽中有失公平。这时我看到了波丽姆从我身旁走过,脸上没有一丝血色,紧握的双拳垂在身体两侧,她身体僵直,步履艰难,走向台子。我看到她的衬衫又松了,像鸭尾一样从裙子里耷拉出来。正是这个不引人注目的细微之处,才使我猛然间回过神来。

There's some confusion on the stage. District 12 hasn't had a volunteer in decades and the protocol has become rusty. The rule is that once a tribute's name has been pulled from the ball, another eligible boy, if a boy's name has been read, or girl, if a girl's name has been read, can step forward to take his or her place. In some districts, in which winning the reaping is such a great honor, people are eager to risk their lives, the volunteering is complicated. But in District 12, where the word tribute is pretty much synonymous with the word corpse, volunteers are all but extinct.

台上有些混乱。十二区在几十年的时间里都没有志愿者,这项规定都快被遗忘了。按规定,如果一个孩子,无论男孩或女孩,名字被抽到,另一个侯选男孩或女孩可以代替他或她。在另外一些区,在收获节仪式上被选中是一件很光荣的事,有不少人甘愿为此冒生命危险,自愿参赛的程序非常复杂。可在十二区,“贡品”跟“尸体”几乎是同义词,自愿者也因而绝迹。

"Prim!" The strangled cry comes out of my throat, and my muscles begin to move again. "Prim!" I don't need to shove through the crowd. The other kids make way immediately allowing me a straight path to the stage. I reach her just as she is about to mount the steps. With one sweep of my arm, I push her behind me.

“波丽姆!”我用沙哑的声音喊着,胳膊腿能听我使唤了。“波丽姆!”不需要在人群中挤,其他的孩子已经给我让出一条道,直通到台子。波丽姆刚要上台时,我追上了她,手臂一挥,把她推到身后。

"I volunteer!" I gasp. "I volunteer as tribute!"

“我要做志愿者!”我喘着粗气说。“我自愿作贡品!

"Lovely!" says Effie Trinket. "But I believe there's a small matter of introducing the reaping winner and then asking for volunteers, and if one does come forth then we, um…" she trails off, unsure herself.

“太好了!”艾菲·特琳奇说道,“可我认为,介绍完抽中者,又出现了志愿者,这有点小小的问题。可如果真有人自愿,那我们…唔…”她的话音停止了,自已对此也不太肯定。

"What does it matter?" says the mayor. He's looking at me with a pained expression on his face. He doesn't know me really, but there's a faint recognition there. I am the girl who brings the strawberries. The girl his daughter might have spoken of on occasion. The girl who five years ago stood huddled with her mother and sister, as he presented her, the oldest child, with a medal of valor. A medal for her father, vaporized in the mines. Does he remember that? "What does it matter?" he repeats gruffly. "Let her come forward."

“这有什么关系吗?”市长说。他看着我,脸上带着痛苦的表情。他不大认识我,也许只是隐隐约约知道一点。我是那个卖草莓的女孩,他女儿也许偶尔提起过我。五年前,这个女孩与她的妈妈和妹妹依偎在一起出现在他的面前,他把这个家中的长子介绍给大家,并颁发给她一枚勇敢者奖章,这枚奖章是奖励给她的爸爸——那个在矿难中被炸死的人。他记起这些了吗?“有什么问题吗?”他又粗声问道,“让她到前边来。

"Prim, let go," I say harshly, because this is upsetting me and I don't want to cry. When they televise the replay of the reapings tonight, everyone will make note of my tears, and I'll be marked as an easy target. A weakling. I will give no one that satisfaction. "Let go!"

“波丽姆,放开我,”我厉声说道。她这么做让我很难过,我不想哭。仪式当晚播放的节目中,每个人都会看到我的泪水,我会被认定为容易打败的目标。显露出人性脆弱的一面,我不会让任何人得到这种满足。“放开!

Prim is screaming hysterically behind me. She's wrapped her skinny arms around me like a vice. "No, Katniss! No! You can't go!"

波丽姆在我身后歇斯底里的喊叫着。她用那瘦瘦的胳膊像钳子似的抱着我。“不,凯特尼斯!不,你不能去!

I can feel someone pulling her from my back. I turn and see Gale has lifted Prim off the ground and she's thrashing in his arms. "Up you go, Catnip," he says, in a voice he's fighting to keep steady, and then he carries Prim off toward my mother. I steel myself and climb the steps.

我觉得身后有人在拽她。我回头一看,盖尔已经把它提溜起来,她还在挥动着手臂。“你去吧,薄荷猫,”他说,强忍住不让自己的声音颤抖。他把波丽姆抱到妈妈那里,我乘此机会爬上台子。

I swallow hard. "Katniss Everdeen," I say.

我忍住内心的紧张。“凯特尼斯·伊夫迪恩,”我说。

To the everlasting credit of the people of District 12, not one person claps. Not even the ones holding betting slips, the ones who are usually beyond caring. Possibly because they know me from the Hob, or knew my father, or have encountered Prim, who no one can help loving. So instead of acknowledging applause, I stand there unmoving while they take part in the boldest form of dissent they can manage. Silence. Which says we do not agree. We do not condone. All of this is wrong.

出于对十二区永久名誉的维护,没有一个人鼓掌,甚至连那些平常对人最漠不关心的赌徒都没有鼓掌。或许他们在黑市认识了我,或许认识我爸爸,或许见过帕莱——那个人见人爱的女孩。此时,没有掌声,我只是一动不动地站在那里;人们以最大胆的方式表达着内心的不满。台下一片寂静。这表明他们不同意,也不会宽恕凯匹特人的所作所为。这一切都是错的。

Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me. But a shift has occurred since I stepped up to take Prim's place, and now it seems I have become someone precious. At first one, then another, then almost every member of the crowd touches the three middle fingers of their left hand to their lips and holds it out to me. It is an old and rarely used gesture of our district, occasionally seen at funerals. It means thanks, it means admiration, it means good-bye to someone you love.

这时意想不到的事发生了。至少我没有想到,因为我觉得十二区是一个不会给我关爱的地方。但从我踏上台子的那一刻起,变化就发生了,此刻,我成了倍受珍爱的人。开始是一个人,然后又一个,最后几乎所有的人都举起左手,他们将中间三个手指放在嘴唇上,之后又指向我。这是我们区古老的手势,它已经很少使用了,只有在葬礼上才会偶尔见到。它意味着感谢、意味着崇敬意、意味着向所爱的人说再见。

"I bet my buttons that was your sister. Don't want her to steal all the glory, do we? Come on, everybody! Let's give a big round of applause to our newest tribute!" trills Effie Trinket.

“那个女孩一定是你的妹妹吧。不想让她夺走所有的名誉,对吧?来吧,各位,让我们给最新产生的“贡品”以最热烈的掌声!”艾菲·特琳奇用激动的声音说道。

"Well, bravo!" gushes Effie Trinket. "That's the spirit of the Games!" She's pleased to finally have a district with a little action going on in it. "What's your name?"

“啊,真是太棒了!”艾菲·特琳奇大声说道,“这正是猎杀游戏的精神!”她很高兴终于在一个区发生了一点特别的事。“你叫什么名字?

Now I am truly in danger of crying, but fortunately Haymitch chooses this time to come staggering across the stage to congratulate me.

这回我真的要哭出来了,但幸好黑密斯此时跌跌撞撞的走过来,向我表示祝贺。

"Look at her. Look at this one!" he hollers, throwing an arm around my shoulders. He's surprisingly strong for such a wreck. "I like her!" His breath reeks of liquor and it's been a long time since he's bathed.

“你瞧,你瞧她有多棒!”他大声喊着,用一只胳膊搂住我的臂膀,他的块头可真不小。“我喜欢她!”他满口酒气,看来好久没洗澡了,浑身散发出臭味。

Is he addressing the audience or is he so drunk he might actually be taunting the Capitol? I'll never know because just as he's opening his mouth to continue, Haymitch plummets off the stage and knocks himself unconscious.

他是在对观众讲话,还是趁醉奚落凯匹特?我永远不得而知。他刚要再张嘴说话时,一头栽到台下,摔得不省人事。

He's disgusting, but I'm grateful. With every camera gleefully trained on him, I have just enough time to release the small, choked sound in my throat and compose myself. I put my hands behind my back and stare into the distance. I can see the hills I climbed this morning with Gale. For a moment, I yearn for something… the idea of us leaving the district… making our way in the woods… but I know I was right about not running off. Because who else would have volunteered for Prim?

他确实令人作呕,可我也应感谢他。每台摄像机都兴冲冲地把镜头对准他,我正好省得用我沙哑的小嗓门发话了,也趁机镇静下来。我把手放在身后,眺望着远处。我看到了今早和盖尔一起爬过的小山。霎时,我心中产生了一种渴望…离开这里…到山林里去…但是,我知道我没有跑是对的,否则谁又会为波丽姆去当志愿者呢?

"Lots of…" He can't think of the word for a while. "Spunk!" he says triumphantly. "More than you!" he releases me and starts for the front of the stage. "More than you!" he shouts, pointing directly into a camera.

“她太有…”他一时想不起合适的词语,“胆量了”他不无夸张地说道,“她比你强!”他松开我冲向前台,指着一台摄像机大喊:“她比你强!

Clearly hoping to contain her tenuous hair situation, she plants one hand on her head as she crosses to the ball that contains the boys' names and grabs the first slip she encounters. She zips back to the podium, and I don't even have time to wish for Gale's safety when she's reading the name. "Peeta Mellark."

显然为了让她松驰的假发保持原位,她用一只手扶着头发,另一只手伸到放男孩名单的玻璃球里。她把摸到的第一个纸条拿了出来,之后快速走回讲席台,念出了名字,我甚至没有时间为盖尔祈祷。“皮塔·麦拉克。

No, the odds are not in my favor today.

不,今天的形势对我不利。

Haymitch is whisked away on a stretcher, and Effie Trinket is trying to get the ball rolling again.

黑密斯被放在担架上飞速抬走了,艾菲·特琳奇再次转起了玻璃球。

Peeta Mellark!

皮塔·麦拉克!

"What an exciting day!" she warbles as she attempts to straighten her wig, which has listed severely to the right. "But more excitement to come! It's time to choose our boy tribute!"

“这是多么令人激动的一天啊!”她一边理着明显歪到右边的假发,一边娇声地说着。“但更令人激动的时刻到了,我们的男贡品即将产生!

Oh, no, I think. Not him. Because I recognize this name, although I have never spoken directly to its owner. Peeta Mellark.

“噢,不,”我想,“不要是他,”我虽然没跟他说过话,但我知道这个名字,皮塔·麦拉克。

I watch him as he makes his way toward the stage. Medium height, stocky build, ashy blond hair that falls in waves over his forehead. The shock of the moment is registering on his face, you can see his struggle to remain emotionless, but his blue eyes show the alarm I've seen so often in prey. Yet he climbs steadily onto the stage and takes his place.

他走上台来,我看着他。中等身材、健壮结实、浅黄色的头发在垂在前额。这一刻带给他的震荡仍写在他的脸上,看得出他在竭尽全力保持镇静,但他蓝色的眼睛里还是透着惊恐不安,这样子我在捕猎时经常看到。他强装镇定,走上台子,站在自己的位置上。

The mayor begins to read the long, dull Treaty of Treason as he does every year at this point -- it's required -- but I'm not listening to a word.

市长开始读那冗长乏味的《叛逆者条约》——这是硬性要求,但我一个字也没听进去。

Effie Trinket asks for volunteers, but no one steps forward. He has two older brothers, I know, I've seen them in the bakery, but one is probably too old now to volunteer and the other won't. This is standard. Family devotion only goes so far for most people on reaping day. What I did was the radical thing.

艾菲·特琳奇问是否有志愿者,但无人走向前来。他有两个哥哥,我知道,我在面包房见过他们,但其中一个哥哥也远远超过作志愿者年龄,另一个不情愿。这是通常的情况。多数人在收获节仪式上为家人所做的牺牲到此为止。我是特例。

"Why him? I think." Then I try to convince myself it doesn't matter. Peeta Mellark and I are not friends. Not even neighbors. We don't speak. Our only real interaction happened years ago. He's probably forgotten it. But I haven't and I know I never will…

“为什么选中他?”我想。我试图说服自己这没什么关系。皮塔·麦拉克和我并不是朋友,甚至算不上邻居。我们没有说过话,真正的接触是在几年前。他也许已经忘了,可我没忘,而且我知道我永远都不会忘记…

It was during the worst time. My father had been killed in the mine accident three months earlier in the bitterest January anyone could remember. The numbness of his loss had passed, and the pain would hit me out of nowhere, doubling me over, racking my body with sobs. Where are you? I would cry out in my mind. Where have you gone? Of course, there was never any answer.

那是在我们的日子过得最艰难的时候,爸爸三个月前在矿难中去世了,那是在一月份,也我有生之年遇到的最寒冷的一个月。失去他后的麻木感已过去了,代之而起的是时时涌起的痛楚,这痛楚以加倍的力量袭击我,使我常难以抑制地哭泣。“你在哪啊?”我的心在流泪,“你到哪去了?”然而,我永远得不到回答。

I was terrified. I suppose now that my mother was locked in some dark world of sadness, but at the time, all I knew was that I had lost not only a father, but a mother as well. At eleven years old, with Prim just seven, I took over as head of the family. There was no choice. I bought our food at the market and cooked it as best I could and tried to keep Prim and myself looking presentable. Because if it had become known that my mother could no longer care for us, the district would have taken us away from her and placed us in the community home.

我感到很恐惧,我想妈妈已经被囚禁在哀愁的黑暗世界里,当时我所知道的一切就是不仅失去了爸爸,也失去了妈妈。那时我十一岁,波丽姆只有七岁,我便挑起了家庭的重担,我别无选择。我把吃的从市场买回来,尽量做得好吃些,我也竭尽全力让自己和波丽姆的样子还能见人,因为如果有人知道妈妈不能再照顾我们了,区里就会有人把我们从她那带走,送到社区福利院。

The district had given us a small amount of money as compensation for his death, enough to cover one month of grieving at which time my mother would be expected to get a job. Only she didn't. She didn't do anything but sit propped up in a chair or, more often, huddled under the blankets on her bed, eyes fixed on some point in the distance. Once in a while, she'd stir, get up as if moved by some urgent purpose, only to then collapse back into stillness. No amount of pleading from Prim seemed to affect her.

区里给了我们一点钱作为对他死亡的赔偿,这些钱够我们花一个月的。在这个月里,我们一直担心妈妈什么时候才会出去找工作,可她什么也没做,她只是整日坐在椅子里,多数时候盖着毯子蜷缩在床上,眼睛茫然地望着远方。有时,她也会动一动,好像要办什么急事,可最终又陷入原来的状态。无论波丽姆怎样哀求也无法打动她。

I'd grown up seeing those home kids at school. The sadness, the marks of angry hands on their faces, the hopelessness that curled their shoulders forward. I could never let that happen to Prim.

我在学校里经常都能看到福利院的孩子。他们的痛苦哀愁、脸上印着愤怒的掌痕、因绝望而佝偻着身躯,这一切都深深地印在我的脑海里。我永远都不允许这样的事发生在波丽姆的身上。

But the money ran out and we were slowly starving to death. There's no other way to put it. I kept telling myself if I could only hold out until May, just May 8th, I would turn twelve and be able to sign up for the tesserae and get that precious grain and oil to feed us. Only there were still several weeks to go. We could well be dead by then.

钱慢慢花完了,我们也快要饿死了。没有别的办法,我对自己说只要能坚持到五月,只要到五月八号,我就满十二岁了,就可以拿到食品券,得到珍贵的谷物和油,也就可以养活我们自己了。只不过距离五月八号还有几个星期,到那时我们肯定已经饿死了。

Sweet, tiny Prim who cried when I cried before she even knew the reason, who brushed and plaited my mother's hair before we left for school, who still polished my father's shaving mirror each night because he'd hated the layer of coal dust that settled on everything in the Seam. The community home would crush her like a bug. So I kept our predicament a secret.

波丽姆是那样地娇小而乖巧,只要我哭,她也会不明不白地跟着哭起来,我们上学前,她总会给妈妈梳好头、编好辫子,她还常去擦干净爸爸的刮胡镜,因为他讨厌“夹缝地带”满天飞的灰尘。可在福利院,她会像虫子一样被踩死。所以家里再困境,我仍保守着秘密。

Starvation's not an uncommon fate in District 12. Who hasn't seen the victims? Older people who can't work. Children from a family with too many to feed. Those injured in the mines. Straggling through the streets. And one day, you come upon them sitting motionless against a wall or lying in the Meadow, you hear the wails from a house, and the Peacekeepers are called in to retrieve the body. Starvation is never the cause of death officially. It's always the flu, or exposure, or pneumonia. But that fools no one.

挨饿在十二区是家常便饭。谁没见过那些挨饿的人?没法干活的老人、姊妹众多无力养活的孩子、在矿上受伤的人,他们被迫流落街头。不知哪天,坐靠在墙边,身体已经僵直,或者躺在“牧场”死去。常有人家传来嚎啕的哭声。那些治安警会来收尸,他们谎称这些人得了流感、传染病或者肺炎。饥饿永远不会是官方承认的死因,可这欺骗不了任何人。

On the afternoon of my encounter with Peeta Mellark, the rain was falling in relentless icy sheets. I had been in town, trying to trade some threadbare old baby clothes of Prim's in the public market, but there were no takers. Although I had been to the Hob on several occasions with my father, I was too frightened to venture into that rough, gritty place alone. The rain had soaked through my father's hunting jacket, leaving me chilled to the bone. For three days, we'd had nothing but boiled water with some old dried mint leaves I'd found in the back of a cupboard. By the time the market closed, I was shaking so hard I dropped my bundle of baby clothes in a mud puddle. I didn't pick it up for fear I would keel over and be unable to regain my feet. Besides, no one wanted those clothes.

我在一个淫雨绵绵、冷风刺骨的下午遇到了皮塔·麦拉克,那时我去公共集市,想拿波丽姆的一些破旧的婴儿服换点吃的,可我的东西无人问津。尽管以前跟爸爸一起去过几次矿井附近,可独自一人来到这满地石子,荒蛮崎岖的地方仍感到很害怕。我身上穿着的爸爸的猎装,雨水已把它完全打湿,我感到彻骨的寒冷。三天来,我们只喝热水,吃一点我在橱柜角找到的干冷的薄荷叶。集市闭市的时候,我冻得浑身发抖,衣服包裹也掉在泥地里。我不敢去检,怕一头栽到地上就再也起不来了。再说,反正那些衣服也没人要。

I couldn't go home. Because at home was my mother with her dead eyes and my little sister, with her hollow cheeks and cracked lips. I couldn't walk into that room with the smoky fire from the damp branches I had scavenged at the edge of the woods after the coal had run out, my hands empty of any hope.

我不能回家,回去面对妈妈直勾勾的眼神和妹妹深陷的脸颊、干裂的嘴唇;我不能踏进那屋门,屋子里冒着呛人的黑烟,家里的煤用完了,我只能从林子边捡些湿柴火用。我已全然无望!

All forms of stealing are forbidden in District 12. Punishable by death. But it crossed my mind that there might be something in the trash bins, and those were fair game. Perhaps a bone at the butcher's or rotted vegetables at the grocer's, something no one but my family was desperate enough to eat. Unfortunately, the bins had just been emptied.

任何偷盗行为在十二区都是被禁止的,偷盗者会被处死。我脑中突然闪过这样的念头,也许在垃圾里可以找到点吃的,这没人管。也许在肉铺能找到些剩骨头,或者在杂货店找到些烂菜,没人会吃这些东西,但我家人已经饿极了,她们可以吃。可真不走运,垃圾桶刚倒光。

I found myself stumbling along a muddy lane behind the shops that serve the wealthiest townspeople. The merchants live above their businesses, so I was essentially in their backyards. I remember the outlines of garden beds not yet planted for the spring, a goat or two in a pen, one sodden dog tied to a post, hunched defeated in the muck.

我在商店后边泥地里偊偊独行。这些商店把东西卖给城里最有钱的人,商人就住在楼上,我实际上是在他们的后院走。我记得当时的花园还没种上春季植物,有一两只羊被圈在圈里,一只湿淋淋的狗弓着背被绑在柱子上。

When I passed the baker's, the smell of fresh bread was so overwhelming I felt dizzy. The ovens were in the back, and a golden glow spilled out the open kitchen door. I stood mesmerized by the heat and the luscious scent until the rain interfered, running its icy fingers down my back, forcing me back to life. I lifted the lid to the baker's trash bin and found it spotlessly, heartlessly bare.

经过面包房时,刚出炉的面包散发出诱人的香味,使我一阵晕眩。烤炉就在后院,金色的火苗散发出浓浓的暖意,涌出敞开的厨房门外,一股暖流和面包的香味掠过,我像是受到催眠,迷糊晕眩;可阴冷的湿雨像冰凉的手指,打在我的脸上,迫使我恢复了意识。我掀开垃圾桶的盖子,里面空空如也,太无情了。

Suddenly a voice was screaming at me and I looked up to see the baker's wife, telling me to move on and did I want her to call the Peacekeepers and how sick she was of having those brats from the Seam pawing through her trash. The words were ugly and I had no defense. As I carefully replaced the lid and backed away, I noticed him, a boy with blond hair peering out from behind his mother's back. I'd seen him at school. He was in my year, but I didn't know his name. He stuck with the town kids, so how would I? His mother went back into the bakery, grumbling, but he must have been watching me as I made my way behind the pen that held their pig and leaned against the far side of an old apple tree. The realization that I'd have nothing to take home had finally sunk in. My knees buckled and I slid down the tree trunk to its roots. It was too much. I was too sick and weak and tired, oh, so tired. Let them call the Peacekeepers and take us to the community home, I thought. Or better yet, let me die right here in the rain.

这时突然听到一个声音冲我尖叫起来,我抬起头,看到面包师的老婆在冲我喊,叫我赶快走开,不然就叫治安警来,她还说看到“夹缝地带”的野孩子在她家的垃圾桶里乱扒真让她恶心。这些粗话一声声地敲打着我,可我却也无力反抗。我小心翼翼地把垃圾桶的盖子盖上,一边向后退,这时我看到了他,一个金黄头发的小男孩从他妈妈的背后探出头看着我。我在学校见过他,他和我同年级,可我不知道他叫什么。他经常和城里的洋孩子在一起,我又怎么可能知道他叫什么呢?这时,他妈妈回到面包房,嘴里还在嘟囔着。我朝他家的猪圈后走去,到猪圈另一侧的一棵老苹果树下,无力地靠在树干上,他的目光始终没有离开我。一想到要空手而归,我突然坚持不住了,膝盖酸软,颓然瘫倒在树下。实在承受不了了,我太疲倦、太虚弱、太难受了。“让他们去叫治安警,把我送到福利院吧。”我想,“或者干脆让我死在这,死在这雨里。

His mother was yelling, "Feed it to the pig, you stupid creature! Why not? No one decent will buy burned bread!"

他的妈妈仍在喊着:“拿去喂猪,你这蠢货,体面的客人才不会买这烧焦的面包!

There was a clatter in the bakery and I heard the woman screaming again and the sound of a blow, and I vaguely wondered what was going on. Feet sloshed toward me through the mud and I thought, It's her. She's coming to drive me away with a stick. But it wasn't her. It was the boy. In his arms, he carried two large loaves of bread that must have fallen into the fire because the crusts were scorched black.

这时,面包房里一阵嘈杂,我听到那个女人又叫了起来,还隐约听到了打骂声,我正在纳闷发生了什么事,却听到有人从泥地里朝我走来。我暗想,“这一定是她,她要拿棍子把我赶走。”可来的人不是她,是那个男孩,他的臂弯里抱着两大块面包,面包准是掉到了火里,外皮被烧得焦黑。

My parents never hit us. I couldn't even imagine it. The boy took one look back to the bakery as if checking that the coast was clear, then, his attention back on the pig, he threw a loaf of bread in my direction. The second quickly followed, and he sloshed back to the bakery, closing the kitchen door tightly behind him.

我的父母从没打过我,我甚至不能想象他们打我。男孩又朝面包店看了一眼,好像要确认一下是否有人,他的注意力又回到猪的身上,接着朝我这边扔了一大块面包,很快又扔了另一块,他的这个动作很麻利。之后他又深一脚浅一脚地跑回面包房,关上了身后的厨房门。

He began to tear off chunks from the burned parts and toss them into the trough, and the front bakery bell rung and the mother disappeared to help a customer.

他开始把胡面包大块大块地撕下来,扔到猪槽里。面包店前门脸的铃铛响起来,他妈妈赶紧跑过去支应客人。

The boy never even glanced my way, but I was watching him. Because of the bread, because of the red weal that stood out on his cheekbone. What had she hit him with?

那男孩再也没朝我这边看一眼,可我却在死死地盯着他,是因为他手里的面包和脸上的伤痕。她用什么东西打得他呀?

I stared at the loaves in disbelief. They were fine, perfect really, except for the burned areas. Did he mean for me to have them? He must have. Because there they were at my feet. Before anyone could witness what had happened I shoved the loaves up under my shirt, wrapped the hunting jacket tightly about me, and walked swiftly away. The heat of the bread burned into my skin, but I clutched it tighter, clinging to life.

我看着面包,简直不敢相信自己的眼睛。这面包太好了,除了有点糊,它完美无比。他是让我拿的吗?准是。面包就扔在我的脚下。趁着没人看见我赶快把面包塞进衣服里,把衣服在身上使劲裹了裹,赶快走开了。面包的热气烫着我的皮肤,我裹得益发紧了,我把这命根子紧紧搂在怀里。

I put my clothes to dry at the fire, crawled into bed, and fell into a dreamless sleep. It didn't occur to me until the next morning that the boy might have burned the bread on purpose. Might have dropped the loaves into the flames, knowing it meant being punished, and then delivered them to me. But I dismissed this. It must have been an accident. Why would he have done it? He didn't even know me. Still, just throwing me the bread was an enormous kindness that would have surely resulted in a beating if discovered. I couldn't explain his actions.

我脱下衣服慢慢在火边烤干,爬进被窝,坠入了甜甜的梦乡。第二天,回想起这事时,我突然觉得也许那男孩是故意把面包烧焦的。他明知自己会挨罚,却把面包掉到火里,然后拿给我。可我觉得这么想也许不对。面包应该是不小心掉到火里的,他为什么要这么做呢?他甚至都不认识我。可就算这样,给我面包也是一片好意,被发现了肯定会挨打的。我无法解释他的行为。

By the time I reached home, the loaves had cooled somewhat, but the insides were still warm. When I dropped them on the table, Prim's hands reached to tear off a chunk, but I made her sit, forced my mother to join us at the table, and poured warm tea. I scraped off the black stuff and sliced the bread. We ate an entire loaf, slice by slice. It was good hearty bread, filled with raisins and nuts.

我赶到家的时候,面包已有些凉了,可里面还是热的。我把面包放在桌子上,波丽姆伸手上来要撕掉一块。可我让她坐下,等妈妈一起来。我倒了热茶,刮掉糊了的地方,然后把面包切成片。我们一片一片,吃掉了整个面包。这面包太好吃了,里面撒满了葡萄干和果仁。

To this day, I can never shake the connection between this boy, Peeta Mellark, and the bread that gave me hope, and the dandelion that reminded me that I was not doomed. And more than once, I have turned in the school hallway and caught his eyes trained on me, only to quickly flit away. I feel like I owe him something, and I hate owing people. Maybe if I had thanked him at some point, I'd be feeling less conflicted now. I thought about it a couple of times, but the opportunity never seemed to present itself. And now it never will. Because we're going to be thrown into an arena to fight to the death. Exactly how am I supposed to work in a thank-you in there? Somehow it just won't seem sincere if I'm trying to slit his throat.

直到今天,我仍无法忘却对这个男孩的感念。皮塔·麦拉克,他给了我们面包和希望;蒲公英,提醒我们还没有死亡。在学校的走廊里,我不止一次地见过他,我们目光的交错也不过是一闪而过。我觉得亏欠他什么,而我不喜欢欠别人的。如果我以某种方式谢过了他,现在心里也就不会这么矛盾了。我确实也想过一两次,可机会总是没出现。而现在,我再也没有机会了。我们即将被投入竞技场,决一死战。我怎样在那种地方向他致谢呢?不管怎么说,隔断他的喉咙和以诚相待是相背离的啊。

We ate slices of bread for breakfast and headed to school. It was as if spring had come overnight. Warm sweet air. Fluffy clouds. At school, I passed the boy in the hall, his cheek had swelled up and his eye had blackened. He was with his friends and didn't acknowledge me in any way. But as I collected Prim and started for home that afternoon, I found him staring at me from across the school yard. Our eyes met for only a second, then he turned his head away. I dropped my gaze, embarrassed, and that's when I saw it. The first dandelion of the year. A bell went off in my head. I thought of the hours spent in the woods with my father and I knew how we were going to survive.

我们吃了点面包片就上学去了。春天好像一夜之间就到来了。暖暖的风,白白的云。在学校大厅,我和那个男孩擦肩而过,他的脸已经肿起来了,眼眶是黑的。他和他的朋友在一起,并没有注意到我。可下午当我接上波丽姆准备回家时,却看到他在操场对面看着我。我们的目光只相遇了一秒钟,然后他迅速扭过头去。我也窘迫地垂下了眼帘。就在那一时刻,我看到了春天的第一朵蒲公英。我思绪飞扬,想起了和爸爸一起在林子里渡过的时光,突然灵机一动,找到了让我们活下去的好办法。

The mayor finishes the dreary Treaty of Treason and motions for Peeta and me to shake hands. His are as solid and warm as those loaves of bread. Peeta looks me right in the eye and gives my hand what I think is meant to be a reassuring squeeze. Maybe it's just a nervous spasm.

市长沉闷的讲话终于结束了,他示意我和皮塔握手。他的手很结实而温暖,就像那面包。他直视我的眼睛,握住我的手。他握得很紧,在我看来这也许表明他很坚定,可也许只是紧张地抽搐。

We turn back to face the crowd as the anthem of Panem plays.

继而我们转身面对观众,帕纳姆国歌响起。

Oh, well, I think. There will be twenty-four of us. Odds are someone else will kill him before I do.

“好吧,”我想,“我们共二十四个人。很可能在我杀他前,别人就已经把他杀死了。

Of course, the odds have not been very dependable of late.

当然,这只是一种可能。这种几率也不十分可靠。



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